The dream is always the same.
Instead of going home, I go to the neighbors'.
I ring, but nobody answers.
The door is open, so I go inside.
I look around, but no one seems to be there.
Then I hear the shower running.
So, I go upstairs to see what's what.
Then I see her.
This... girl!
This incredible girl!
I don't know why she's there because she doesn't live there...
... but it's a dream, so I go with it.
"Who's there?" she says.
"Joel," I say.
"What are you doing here?"
"I don't know.
"What are you doing here?"
"I'm taking a shower," she says.
Then I give her...
..."Do you want me to go?"
"No," she says.
"I want you to wash my back."
I'm getting enthusiastic about this dream.
So, I go to her, but she's hard to find through all the steam.
I keep losing her.
Finally, I get to the door...
... and I find myself in a room full of kids taking their College Boards.
I'm over three hours late!
I've got two minutes to take the whole test.
I've just made a terrible mistake.
I'll never get to college.
My life is ruined.
Here's the game: Five-card draw with a spit. Anaconda, high-low.
Pass two to the right, one to the left...
What happened?
Last night?
That's right, with Kessler.
She was babysitting down the street.
We know that!
So, I went over there.
She was giving the kid a bath and accidentally hit the shower thing.
All of her clothes were drying upstairs.
So, she plops down on the kitchen floor...
...she looks up at me and says...
..."I think I'm in the mood."
She said that?
What did you say?
I didn't have to say anything.
What did you do?
What do you think I did?
I think you got the hell out of there, ran home and whacked off!
I disagree.
Did you have your bike there?
I think you jumped on your bike, pedaled home and whacked off!
That's what you think, right?
With Kessler sitting on the floor like that, wanting me?
No guts, Goodson.
The problem was I just wasn't attracted to her.
That should never stop you.
She seemed too big.
It could've worked out.
I thought I'd get into trouble.
Sometimes you have to say, "What the fuck!" Make your move!
That's easy for you to say.
You're all set. You're probably going to Harvard.
Me, I don't want to make a mistake, jeopardize my future!
Joel, let me tell you something.
Every now and then, say, "What the fuck."
"What the fuck," gives you freedom.
Freedom brings opportunity.
Opportunity makes your future.
Be right there.
So, your folks are going out of town?
Tomorrow.
You've got the place all to yourself?
Yeah?
"What the fuck."
If you can't say it...
...you can't do it.
Joel, did you get your SAT scores?
How did you do?
597: Math, 560: Verbal.
If you wanted to, you could take them again?
- I guess so. - Great.
Joel, I want to show you something.
Honey, did you pack my Mace?
Yes, in your cosmetic case.
Joel, do you hear something odd?
Something unpleasant?
No.
A preponderance of bass, perhaps?
No.
Is this the way I left the equalizer?
No.
This is not a toy for you and your friends.
If you can't use it properly, you're not to use it at all.
My house, my rules.
Joel, I spoke to Bill Rutherford.
He interviews for Princeton.
I'll never get into Princeton!
I already arranged an interview.
Friday night, the 4th, at our house.
Jesus, Dad!
Tell him about your involvement with Future Enterprisers.
They like that.
There's $50 for food, which is more than enough...
...another $50 for emergencies and an extra $25 just in case.
Don't forget to water the plants on the patio.
I made a list, it's on the refrigerator door.
Dad, should I start your car?
The car will be fine, Joel.
For the battery, I mean.
Please, you're not to use my car. You're not insured for it.
- Use the station wagon. - Use my car, honey.
Do we understand each other?
Okay!
As far as the house is concerned, just use your best judgment.
We trust you.
Have a great time.
Be good.
We will, honey. You too.
"Just take those old records off the shelf
"I sit and listen to them by myself
"Today's music ain't got the same soul
"I like that old time rock and roll!
"Don't try to take me to a disco
"You'll never even get me out on the floor
"In ten minutes I'll be late for the door
"I like that old time rock and roll!
"Still like that old time rock and roll!
"That kind of music just soothes the soul
"I reminisce about the days of old
"With that old time rock and roll!"
Guess what?
Dalby got into Harvard.
He must have aced his Boards.
780: Verbal.
765: Math!
Shit!
Do you know what a Harvard MBA makes, first year?
$40,000.
My cousin went into dermatology. First year, over $60,000!
Just for squeezing zits?
Why don't you try it, Barry? You have the experience.
Thank you, you're very kind.
Listen, you guys.
Doesn't anyone want to accomplish anything?
Or do we just want to make money?
Make money.
Just make money.
Make a lot of money.
What about you, Joel?
Serve my fellow mankind.
Profit motive.
Competition.
Free enterprise.
Is there any company that doesn't have a product in production?
We're falling far behind.
You haven't exactly been helping.
You wanted to be the production executive.
Bullshit! Every sales manager I know helps with production.
Yeah? Who?
Everyone! Just help me with the production!
I can't! I'm too busy with marketing and sales!
How can you be busy with marketing and sales?
I haven't given you the product yet!
Barry, just bring the goddamn thing over tonight.
I only did this because I thought it'd look good on my record.
Hi, Glenn. What's up?
- I heard your parents were away. - Yeah.
I thought maybe I could borrow a room?
Barry is here and we're working.
We won't bother you.
We don't have anywhere to go.
You know how it is.
Sure. Take my room.
Thanks, Joel.
Ready?
The "Memo-Minder"!
Here's how it works.
A call comes in for your mom, it's fairly important. What do you do?
You write the message down here, hit the switch... you've got the light.
Now, a call for your dad comes in and it's really important!
You're gonna get your ass kicked in if he misses it.
So, what do you do?
Write the message down there, hit position two...
$1.86 in parts, sell it for $9.95 and make a fortune!
I can't concentrate with this.
This is really annoying.
It's ridiculous!
I'm out of here.
Lock the door when you leave, Glenn.
If you read me, grunt twice!
Thank you!
I can't believe Glenn bringing Statwiler over like that.
Why?
Because he boffed Hendricks last week!
He did?
Yes! And after the game on Saturday, he fucked her.
- Barry? - What?
Boffing and fucking are the same thing.
They are?
Yes. What did you think it was?
I thought it was something else.
You're sure on this?
I'm positive.
Shit!
Sublime breasts.
They're what kind of breasts?
Sublime breasts!
A couple of boys in daddy's car.
Do you want to race?
Hit it.
Okay. Good.
You've done the old man's car bit. That's a good start.
Now, try this on for size.
"The Leather Castle.
"Chicago's finest dominants and submissives.
"Fully equipped dungeons. Beginners welcome."
It sounds great, Miles.
Here's one!
"My daddy used to spank my bare bottom.
"Now he's gone. Will you take his place?
"Call Misty."
Come on, Joel. You've got to take advantage of this!
They come to your house!
"Countess Angelique seeks young submissive with large ankles!"
This is it!
"For a good time in the privacy of your own home, call Jackie:
"555-4875."
Succinct, to the point, down to business. What do you say?
If you want to call, call for yourself.
A good time, Joel!
In the privacy of your own home!
What else can you ask for?
I'll make my own calls, thank you.
Then...
...call!
Forget it!
All right!
I'm calling.
You're calling?
Someday you'll thank me for this.
You'd better not mention me.
It's her answering machine.
Hi, Jackie, this is Joel Goodson, 345 Remson, Glencoe.
I'd like a good time in my home tonight. Bye!
That was really cute.
Now, give me the number so I can call her back.
Number? There's no number?
Give me the number, damn it!
There's no number.
You're an asshole!
Gotta go. Catch you later.
Shithead!
Oh, God!
Hello, Joel. I'm Jackie. How are you?
Nice to meet you, Jackie. I'm not Joel.
Joel stepped out for a moment.
I'll go call him.
Holy shit!
Dalby, get your ass over here!
I'm playing cards, Joel!
Just get over here!
Is she there?
Yes, she is here, and she is waiting for you!
She's not waiting for me, she's waiting for you.
Are you coming?
No! I'm playing cards!
You're not coming?
Get over here, Dalby!
Look, I'm sorry about the misunderstanding.
Joel, be a courageous person. Open the door!
That way, you see, I can call a cab.
Again, I'm really sorry.
As long as we come to an arrangement, I'm in no mood for complaining.
I mean, when you put your good money down...
...you gotta get what you wanted in the first place. Know what I mean?
When you buy a TV, you don't buy Sony if you want RCA.
I know we could get along real well. But, hey!
It's your hard-earned money, right?
This way, we make an arrangement and everyone is satisfied.
You had carfare.
A long ride. I don't ever come out this far.
And your time.
My time, my effort, my infinite patience and understanding.
Thank you.
$75.
Fair enough.
Joel, I'm going to give you a number.
You ask for Lana.
- It's what you want. - Thank you.
It's what every white boy off the lake wants.
All right, Goodson, we know you're in there!
What's that?
I think someone's out there.
Joel, the house is surrounded.
Do exactly as we say, and no one gets hurt.
Oh, shit!
Get off the babysitter! Put on your pants, and come out with your hands up!
Please, Joel, do as they say!
Get off the babysitter!
Don't throw your life away like this.
Listen, you goddamn punk, you'll never have a future! Not if I can help it!
You got that? No future!
Who is that?
My father!
Hello? Lana?
Yes?
Hi.
I'm a nice guy, and I'd like to meet you tonight.
Fine. Where are you?
Where do you live?
Glencoe.
What's your name?
Ralph.
Ralph, can I have the address?
345...
...Remson.
Ralph?
I'll see you tonight.
Are you ready for me, Ralph?
This is a beautiful place, Ralph. Is it all yours?
It's my folks', actually.
Do you know what it's worth?
A lot, probably.
Oh, yeah! Real estate?
It's fabulous!
Look, Lana... my name really isn't Ralph.
It's Joel.
I need $300... Joel.
You're kidding?
No, I don't believe I am.
Can I send it to you?
Can you send it to me, Joel?
I just don't have that much here in the house.
How much do you have?
- I have $50. - $50?
What are we going to do about this?
I have a bond at the bank I could cash...
I'm not good at waiting for people.
I'll be quick.
Give it a try.
I'm back!
I'm here for you.
How could she? It's so stupid!
Tell your mother it broke!
That egg is worth a lot more than $300!
What are you going to do?
I'm gonna get it back, is what I'm gonna do.
Are you going to help?
Sure. When?
Right now!
I can't do it right now! I have a trig. Mid-term tomorrow!
Hey, "Mr. What-The-Fuck"...
...what about "exploring the dark side" and all that?
Or was that just bullshit?
That was just bullshit, Joel.
I'm surprised you listened to me.
Are you coming?
How can you even tell if she'll be here?
I called Jackie and she said to try here.
Great idea. Where else could we get a hot chocolate for $4?
She's here!
Where?
The blue dress... those legs...
That's her.
She's fantastic!
She's looking right at us!
She knows we're here.
That's it?
That's it, Joel?
I can't believe we came all the way here for that!
At least she knows we're on to her, Miles.
Yeah, she must be terrified.
Joel!
Is this your car?
Maybe.
Could we talk a minute?
Okay.
Let's talk!
Okay. In the car, all right? It's freezing.
Will you do me a favor?
You want me to do you a favor?
I just need a lift.
Look, I want my egg back!
Get out of the car!
Joel, better get moving.
I want my egg back!
You got it, all right? Just start driving!
When?
- Now! - Open the door!
When do I get it back?
Start driving!
Open the door! Are you going to open the door?
Hey, buster!
Fuck! Will you just...
- Get off the car! - Just start driving!
Start driving, now!
Why don't you start the car, Joel?
Fuck! Get out of here!
Start the goddamn car, Joel!
Lana, open the door.
Where are you going? Lana!
Get out, or I'll kill you!
Who was that guy?
My manager.
He gets a little crazy sometimes.
This is my friend, Miles.
Do you like excitement, Miles?
Love it.
Okay, where do you want to go?
I don't know, Joel. I haven't given it a lot of thought.
Tell me this:
Am I going in the right direction?
Oh, shit! Here he comes!
Here who comes?
That manager guy?
Hey, Guido!
Big man, Guido!
Big man with a gun!
What are you going to do?
Shoot us all? Stupid!
This guy Guido...
...he's a "manager"? - That's right.
Or a pimp?
Now, that's quick, Joel.
Have you always been this quick, or is this something new?
I don't believe this!
I have a trig. Mid-term tomorrow...
...and I'm being chased by Guido, The Killer Pimp!
Miles?
I think I can take him.
What are you talking...
I'm really not enjoying this.
I think I'm going to throw up.
I think I'm going to throw up on you, Joel!
Porsche...
...there is no substitute.
Fuck you.
Hi, dear. It's Mother.
How are you?
Just checking in to say hello, see how you're doing...
...and give you our flight information.
Wait a minute. Let me write this down.
Saturday, United, Flight 162 at 3:30.
That's right. How's everything else? Do you have enough money?
It never seems to go as far as you think it will.
Yes, I know.
I'm learning, Mom.
How is Aunt Tudi?
I will.
See you then, bye.
Your folks?
So, how are they?
Oh, they're just great.
How about Aunt Tudi?
Her hip is much better. She sends her love.
You were telling me about Guido.
I quit Guido.
How come?
He thought he owned me.
Nobody owns me.
The problem is, I owe him for clothes and hospital bills.
You were in the hospital?
I had this...
...pain in my chest.
I thought it was a heart condition.
What was it?
The doctor said nerves.
Nice service.
Reed & Barton.
Thank you for breakfast. It was good.
I'm going to school now.
I'll have to ask you to leave.
I'm sorry.
You won't let me stay?
No, I have to go to school.
I'm really sorry.
No, I'm sorry.
I'll be right back.
You guys go ahead without me.
She's still here?
She won't leave.
Lana, look...
...I just want my egg back. I want my house back.
I have a lot of work to do.
Did you have a good time last night?
You mean when we got back here?
I think you know what I mean.
I had a great time.
Don't tell me I owe you another $300.
Did I say you owe me anything?
No, you didn't.
I don't remember saying you owe me anything.
What about my mother's egg?
You're the one who's going to college, you figure it out.
How much time do you need?
I need long enough to make a few phone calls.
I have to figure out how to get my stuff back.
Guido has probably locked me out of the apartment by now.
All right!
But will you do me a favor?
Anything, cookie.
Don't steal anything!
If I come back here, and find anything missing...
...I'm going straight to the police. I'm not joking!
Joel, go to school. Go learn something.
May I see your pass, please!
I'm sure you've all read chapters six through eight...
...so here's a little pop quiz to confirm it.
Will you put your books on the floor, please?
You didn't tell anyone, did you?
No. Glenn knows.
What about Barry?
He knows, too.
Don't tell anyone!
I won't! I won't!
Lab reports should be on my desk by tomorrow afternoon.
I won't accept any that aren't typed.
Term papers are due on Friday.
They count for 50% of this semester's grades.
Damn it!
Hey, Miles, what's going on?
I'm waiting for Glenn.
Glenn? Where is he?
Inside.
In the house?
He wanted to meet her!
What are you doing?
I was inside.
I can see that.
You're home now.
Yeah, I live here, remember?
Glenn?
Tell me you didn't do anything with her.
Who, Lana?
Yeah, Lana.
Nothing.
I met her.
She's nice.
You're sure you didn't do anything?
Yeah, I swear.
You did it with her, didn't you, Glenn?
I did not do it with her, Joel!
Ask me about Vicki!
Who is Vicki?
Owe you one!
Are you Joel? Nice place you have here.
Where's Lana?
In the den.
I like your friend!
Get out! I'm not kidding!
What's your problem?
Just leave! Please!
Look, we're not ripping you off or anything.
What is this for?
Fifty goes to the house! You're the house!
I am not the house!
Just leave! I mean it!
He's mad, Vicki.
Already? I just got here!
I think he wants us to go.
Do you want us to go?
Thank you.
I don't want any problems.
Do you know what you did to me last night?
I don't care!
I don't want to see you or do anything with you anymore.
Get in the car!
Excuse me.
What can I do for you?
Who are you?
Are you the kid I chased last night?
Is there something I can help you with?
You shouldn't drive like that.
People get hurt all the time.
Are you a smart kid?
You look like a smart kid.
I'm okay.
Where are the girls? Inside?
I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to leave.
The door is locked.
You're starting to give me a stomachache.
Good! I hope it hurts!
Are you going to open the door?
Guido, go home! We don't need you anymore!
Shut your mouth!
Listen, maybe we don't work for you anymore!
Then who do you work for?
Who? If you don't work for me?
Maybe we work for Joel, now.
She's only kidding.
I hope so.
Joel, you look like a smart kid.
I'm going to tell you something I'm sure you'll understand.
You're having fun now, right?
Right, Joel? The time of your life.
In a sluggish economy, never, ever fuck with another man's livelihood!
If you're smart, like I hope you are...
...you aren't going to make me come back here.
Thank you, Joel.
It's very decent of you.
Just as long as we understand each other.
One night, then you'll find another place to stay.
As soon as we get in touch with Tandy, we'll have a place.
- Did you try her again? - She's still out.
And my mother's egg?
If I can get my stuff back, I can get the egg.
Then you'll leave?
Then we'll leave.
I don't know, Lana. He has such nice friends.
Clean, polite, quick.
I think there's a future here.
What are you studying?
It's a workshop...
...on free enterprise.
We make a product, and then we try to market it.
Do you make a lot of money?
No. Not really.
No, but we...
...get to compete with other student companies.
Actually, it's fucked!
I'm just kidding.
It's really quite competitive.
Do you ever get high, Joel?
Yeah. All the time.
You see, Vicki and I were thinking about getting high.
Maybe going out and getting some ice cream?
You want to come?
I could go for some ice cream right now.
Are you stoned?
No. I do not believe so.
I think you're really wasted!
This is not wasted, Barry.
This is definitely not wasted.
Barry?
- I'm a little wasted! - I know.
- Don't let me do anything stupid. - Don't worry.
Want to take a walk?
How do you like living at home?
It's okay.
I'll be out next year.
I'll bet your folks are nice.
They're gone till Sunday?
Yeah.
Because, I was thinking...
I mean, after your friend came over...
...I couldn't believe it!
A kid our age walks in with a $100!
Glenn.
Where did he get that kind of change?
I don't know.
He said he cashed a bond.
You people have a lot of bonds.
So, I was thinking...
...if we ever got our friends together, we'd make a fortune!
Yeah. You're right.
Do you want to do that?
Do what?
Get our friends together in the next few days.
No. I don't think so.
Make some money. Be a little enterpriser.
Future enterpriser.
Be whatever you want to be.
What if I said I'd be your girlfriend for the next few nights?
No charge?
Hey, I'm not pushing you on the idea.
It's just that my mind keeps working all the time.
Nothing I can do about it. It keeps working and working.
You warm enough?
I'm okay.
How come you left home?
Why?
I was just wondering.
Because my step-father kept coming on to me.
What else do you want to know?
Do you have any brothers and sisters?
I have a brother.
What else?
If you don't want to talk...
No, no. Ask me anything.
I don't think you want to talk and it's okay.
No, I really want to talk to you.
What does he do?
He's in school.
How come you're not in school?
I'm not my brother.
I'm really trying to be friends with you.
But I'd appreciate it if you'd stop trying to judge me...
...while you're leaning on your daddy's $40,000 car.
I'll see you around.
Was it something I said?
You locked the door! The keys are inside the car!
Please! Stop! Stop! Stop!
Please stop! Please stop!
Thank you.
All right, everyone watch your feet!
Are you okay?
Do you want an aspirin?
Does your dad own a gun?
Who's the U-boat commander?
You're right. You are absolutely right to respond this way.
I did not have a doctor's appointment.
But I will tell you exactly what happened.
"Unexcused." You see, Nurse Bolan...
...lf you write "unexcused," I fail two mid-terms.
It'll wreck my whole grade point average!
If you'd just stop and listen to me, I'll explain everything.
The truth is, my parents are away, and I met this girl.
A call girl, actually. She came to my house.
Look, you're writing again!
This is not "unexcused"!
If you will just listen to me, then you'll understand, Nurse Bolan.
Why? Why won't you listen to me?
I had a doctor's appointment.
Excuse me.
It wasn't the girl, it was my father's car.
I put my father's car into Lake Michigan...
...and I had to get it fixed.
Just give me a break.
Let me put it this way.
I have spent the last four years of my life busting my butt in this shithole!
I'm sorry.
I don't think I can leave until I get just a little compassion from you.
What did he get?
Suspension, five days.
They kicked him out of Future Enterprisers, too.
Shit! They trashed his whole record!
What's he going to do about the car?
Are you okay, Joel?
I'm okay.
I need a bike.
He needs a bike.
- Glenn, can I borrow your bike? - Jesus, Glenn!
Sure. Here, use mine.
It was great the way her mind worked:
No guilt, no doubts, no fear.
None of my specialties.
Just this shameless pursuit of immediate material gratification.
What a capitalist!
She told me I could make more money in one night than I'd make all year.
Enough to pay for my father's car.
She told me she'd be my girlfriend.
She told me a lot of things.
I believed them all.
So, she introduced me to her friends.
"Now when I was a young boy
"At the age of five
"My mother said I was going to be
"The greatest man alive
"But now I'm a man
"Way past twenty-one
"I want you to believe me, baby
"I have lots of fun
"I'm a man"
I introduced her to my friends.
We made Barry our treasurer.
Lana did production.
I concentrated on sales.
So, you took her out to dinner twice.
What did that cost you?
About $30.
With tip?
Okay, maybe $35.
Any movies?
Three movies.
$20.
Parking?
I park on the street.
Gas?
Maybe $6.
All right, Stan, you're in for roughly $60.
What happened?
She slept with Jacobsen.
That's all I'm saying.
"I can make love to you, woman
"In five minutes' time
"Ain't that a man?"
Do you know what he said... afterwards?
He said the lady had knowledge.
He was glad to get that knowledge.
Do you know why?
Why?
Because college girls can smell ignorance...
...like dog shit.
I'll think about it.
Where are you going to school next year?
Wisconsin.
Wisconsin?
Big school.
All I'm saying is...
...walk like a man.
Joel! This is a great party!
Are you having a good time?
Excellent idea, Joel! Really excellent.
Some of the girls are wearing my mother's clothing.
What's wrong with that?
I don't want to spend the rest of my life in analysis.
- Just talk to them, okay? - All right.
Is Howie Rifkin here?
You're on, honey.
Joel! Somebody is at the front door for you.
All right, thank you. I'll be right there.
The thing is...
...I don't have to pay for it.
I get it anyway.
I'm going to get going or I'll miss the party.
Whatever you want to do...
Excuse me. Can I help you?
Are you Joel?
Yes.
Bill Rutherford, Princeton Admissions.
I believe we had an interview scheduled.
If this is inconvenient for you...
No, sir. It's fine.
Is it okay if I have the room?
Also, could you catch the phone if anyone calls, please?
I understand that you would like to attend Princeton.
Yes, sir, very much.
Well, fine.
Let's take a look at what we have, shall we?
Does this couch open?
Lana, I'm in a meeting.
We need the room.
I need a few minutes, okay?
Now, you've taken your SAT's already.
Math: 597, Verbal: 560. Correct me if my information is inaccurate.
Well, yes, but I was planning on taking those again.
Fine. Now, your grade point average is 3.14.
You class rank: 52...
...which places you in the 84th percentile. Is that correct?
Joel, this is my cousin, Ruben, from Skokie.
Can you get him in tonight?
Not now, okay?
- He has to be back by 12:00. - All right, later guys.
Excuse me.
And you wish to major in?
Business.
Business. Yes.
I'll be out in a second.
Fine, well, let's see what else there is.
"Junior Varsity Tennis Team, Recording Secretary, Spanish Club...
"...Varsity Track Team: One year...
"...Honorable Mention: Cook County Science Fair...
"...Future Enterprisers, Yearbook Staff...
"...Student Council: Two years."
Well, Joel, this is very respectable.
You've done some very solid work here...
...but it isn't quite Ivy League, is it?
You know, Bill...
...there's one thing I've learned in all my years.
Sometimes you have to say, "What the fuck."
Make your move.
I beg your pardon?
So, how are we doing?
Looks like University of Illinois!
"All right, all right!
"Dance, Music, Sex, Romance!
"Everybody say, Oooh, all right!
"Dance, Music, Sex, Romance!
"Everybody clap your hands now!"
Some of your friends are looking for you.
What do you want me to tell them?
Has that guy from Princeton left yet?
No, he's still here. He's talking to some of the girls.
Talking?
They're very good talkers.
I don't think I'm going to say, "What the fuck" anymore.
This thing has gotten way out of control.
I'm going to kill Miles.
Oh, come on, Joel.
Look at it this way. You're making a lot of money.
You're providing your friends with an invaluable service.
God knows, they needed the service!
And, right now, you are one hot-shit future enterpriser.
Don't worry so much. I'll be upstairs.
And... you have a girlfriend to boot.
Do I?
Phone call for Joel.
Here, I'll get it.
Well, do I?
What do you think?
I don't know. You tell me.
Yes? No? Maybe?
Yes.
No.
Maybe.
Joel!
Dad?
Who answered the phone?
Just a friend, Dad.
Do I know her?
Have you ever made love on a real train?
I don't think so.
He's got a girl.
Let's make love on a real train.
Joel, are you there?
I'm still here, Dad. How is Mom? Is everything all right?
Let's go.
Did I hear others there?
Just a few friends, Dad.
Sounds like a party.
A party?
Come on, let's be alone together.
I don't remember giving permission for a party, Joel.
Honey, can you hear me?
There's nothing wrong with having friends over.
Just use your best judgment. We trust you.
We're coming in on United, Flight 162 at 3:30.
"Trust."
Seems to me if there were any logic to our language...
..."trust" would be a four-letter word.
The evening worked out well. We had a good cash flow.
Rutherford made a few new friends.
He said he'd do his best for me.
Finally, it was time to close shop.
The girls were exhausted.
Lana was hungry. She wanted to go out for a bite.
She wanted to make love on a real train.
Who was I to say no?
"I can feel it coming in the air tonight
"And I've been waiting for this moment for all my life
"Can you feel it coming"
I thought no one was going to be here.
Be patient.
"Well, I remember
"I remember - don't worry
"How could I ever forget?
"It's the first time
"The last time we ever met
"But I know the reason
"Why you keep the silence up
"No, you don't fool me
"The hurt doesn't show
"But the pain still grows
"It's no stranger to you or me
"I can feel it coming in the air tonight
"Well, I've been waiting for this moment for all my life
"I can feel it in the air tonight"
Hi.
They stole the goddamn house, Lana!
I'm not here right now.
But if you'll leave your name and number...
... I'll call you back as soon as possible.
They took everything!
This is unbelievable!
My parents will be home in two hours, Lana, and they took fucking everything!
I don't know if you know anything about this...
... but you have to call me right away!
I'm at the house: KL5-2121.
Look, you've really got to help me!
Time of your life, huh, kid?
Where's Lana?
Maybe she's on the choo-choo.
I hear she's got this thing about choo-choos.
I want to know who took my stuff.
I took your stuff, Joel, are you kidding?
Then you listen to me, buster!
You a-hole!
If I don't get my stuff back...
Shit!
"A-hole?"
I want my furniture back, right now!
Now, you listen to me.
No, no! You listen to me!
Shit!
This is getting boring.
Can I have my furniture back? Please?
You listen to me, you little fuck!
You not only took my two best girls...
...you call me names and insult me!
I'm sorry.
If I had any self-respect...
...it wouldn't just be the furniture...
...it would be your legs! Your arms! Your head!
Do we understand each other?
Yes, we do.
No! Do we understand each other?
Yes, we understand each other.
Well, you're lucky in one respect.
What's that?
I like you, Joel.
Don't you know that?
What time is it?
It's 4:15.
I'll find a cab.
Something must have happened.
Taxi!
Joel, do you like music?
This is beautiful equipment.
What do you say, $300...
...amps, speakers, the works?
It's a bargain, Joel.
If you go downtown anywhere, it'd cost you double that.
All right! The kid likes music!
How about some women's outfits?
You know, something for your mom?
Should fit her okay.
Yes.
What?
Yes, I'll buy it!
I didn't give you a price yet.
Can we get through this, please?
$125.
That's it, you have everything.
Wait a minute.
What about this?
What's that?
Some glass, artsy-fartsy thing.
What have you got left, Joel?
$40.
I don't think I can go $40 on the artsy-fartsy thing.
- What do you think, Vic? - He's only got $40.
I only have $40.
We go $340?
I'll spot you the $300.
You're good for it, right?
Certainly.
I think he is too.
Here!
Catch!
To Joel!
Here's wishin' you good luck on your future as a businessman!
Because, God knows, you're going to need it!
Don't, you'll break it!
That's good. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
I'd put all the Chinese things together, and the Greek on a separate shelf.
I don't think you should mix centuries.
Mom! Dad! You're home!
Where were you?
I was here.
We called from the airport!
I must have been out back watering.
I thought you were coming home tomorrow.
Sweetheart, I said the 5th.
No, you said the 6th. I wrote it down.
I'm sure I said the 5th.
Give me a hand with the luggage.
She said the 6th.
Joel?
Yes, Mom?
Can I talk to you for a minute?
What happened to my egg?
What do you mean?
There's a crack in it!
You're kidding!
No, Joel, I'm not kidding.
There's a small crack, inside the egg.
What's wrong?
My egg is ruined.
What happened?
I don't know.
You don't know.
Mom, maybe it was there before.
I don't think so, Joel.
How could you let this happen?
I'm sorry.
This is so damned irresponsible of you!
We'll get another one. Joel will pay for it.
Sure, I'll pay for it.
Where will you get the money to pay for something like that?
I'm very disappointed in you.
She'll be all right.
Why don't you put in some yard work?
Do you have something to tell me?
No...
...I don't think so.
I just got off the telephone with Bill Rutherford.
Apparently, you two had quite a meeting.
"Princeton can use a guy like Joel."
What?
"Princeton can use a guy like Joel."
His exact words!
That's unbelievable!
You're as good as in!
I knew you could do it!
Haven't I been telling you, sometimes you have to say:
"What the heck!" Take some chances.
You were so right.
You've made me very proud.
I was just thinking...
...where we might be ten years from now.
You know what I think?
I think we're both going to make it big!
I'm very optimistic! I mean it!
Can I ask you something?
Was our night together...
...just to set up...
...Vicki and Guido?
No.
You don't believe me, do you?
My name is Russell Bitterman. I'm from Wheaton High School.
Our product is a paper-towel holder that sells for $8.95.
We made a profit of $850 last semester.
I don't want you to get hurt.
My name is Evonne Williams. We sell decorative planters for $7.
We made a profit of $500 last semester.
Guess we won't see each other for awhile.
I know.
Are you going straight home now?
I don't know. Why?
It might be nice if we spent the evening together.
I'd really like that.
How much have you got on you?
How much have I got on me?
I've got $20.
$20, Lana?
What are we going to do about this?
- Can I send it to you? - Can you send it to me?
'Cause I don't have that much here.
How about I write you a check?
Do you think I'd accept a check from you? What am I, stupid?
I have a bond at the bank.
My name is Joel Goodson.
I deal in human fulfillment.
I grossed over $8,000 in one night.
The time of your life, huh, kid?